Why do girls NOT get that we do not want the crazy during sport? Is there some hormonal blockage to the brain which prevents them from understanding that sport is our one escape from the crap that is sometimes our life? And fine, if I’m watching Pakistan play India in a 5-day, maybe I’ll be amenable to a little nookie mid-way through. Or if there’s a particularly boring golf game, I don’t mind the constant chatter about what recently-divorced-and-slutty did to happily-married-but-clearly-the-husband-isn’t’s husband.
But ladies, please, when there is a Super 14 qualifying game on, just shut your little lady mouths for 2 hours. It’s all we ask. And when I’m already missing Dave’s massive braai (unlimited supply of Heineken and biltong) and HD Flatscreen to spend the weekend at your parents’ cottage in the mountains and their tiny tv, you could cut me some slack.
SHARKS V STORMERS is NOT a small game and I do NOT want to be interrupted. Since the boys were playing like their arses, I wasn’t in the best of moods either. So when Carryn came to me in the middle of the first half to ask me to PEEL BUTTERNUT and help make a COUS COUS salad (FFS!), I perhaps responded with a little animosity. Ok fine, I told her to f*%4 off and leave her man to do men’s things and not bother him with her kitchen issues. But still, the woman should understand!
I then had to sit through the rest of the game with her bringing up every issue she has been secretly developing in the last, I don’t know, 2 hours. Apparently I’m lazy and don’t love and then blah blah blah, I missed that part since we looked like we were going to score a try. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she wanted me to RESPOND and to tell her what I think! Gentlemen, a word of advice: when your girlfriend asks you to respond to her whining and tell her what you think, the correct response is not “I think you should come back when the rugby is finished”. She hit the f&$%ing roof.
Luckily, her parents are stupidly religious so I sleep on the couch in any case.
